Letting Go

I just wrote an entire blog and thought I had saved it but alas, technology was not my friend. It's interesting when you pour your heart out and then it's wiped away, never to be seen or heard again and you have to decide, do you get frustrated, upset, sad or do you move forward taking it as a life lesson. Since I have spent this month working on the idea of letting go, I am going to take this as another lesson in this process. 

The first post was about 2020 and how the year took us through many changes. Our daily routines, our freedom, our ability to touch, feel, explore, love and be. It was about how the world looked and the interruptions to our every day lives. Now I have the chance to take a new direction, all because my post failed to save. How FUN!

I have been painting this year, something I discovered in 2020 that I really enjoy. The idea of creating something new with paint and collage and inks was never at the back of my mind. I always thought I was not capable of this most amazing process. When I could go to a pottery shop, I would have my girlfriends paint my pictures for me because I was afraid of messing something up. I lived in fear of failure. 

An abstract I painted with collage from a Disneyland bag my grandma kept in the 1950's.
 

But deep down I wanted to be able to create something beautiful from nothing. I wanted the ability and talent to do this. I wanted the boldness and fearlessness to try it and so I purchased an online class taught by Tracy Verdugo, an amazing artist and teacher from Australia and then I tried. 

I discovered that I have talent. My talent isn't the same as hers, or my friends, or the many people I see positing on my facebook art page. It is uniquely my own and I was hooked. I started posting everything I tried. So much so that my friend said my page becoming too much of the same thing. Woops. I might have been slightly obsessed with the process and overloading my poor friends so I scaled back, from posting not painting. 

I learned and am learning how to paint faces. I learned how to doodle and explore color. I learned that there is no right or wrong when creating something new. I found joy in the process and freedom to just be myself and embrace whatever it is I have attempted to do. I have felt, at times, like the piece was a giant failure and have put it away for another day. 

And I have encouraged my grandkids to paint along with me. It has been such a wonderful experience watching them create. Seeing the joy in their eyes as they make something new. Watching them light up when their project for their mom was completed. It has been fun to see my little granddaughter come to the house and grab the framed painting we did of her foot and exclaim, "that's my foot". 

What a gift I have been given, that gift of freedom from fear. I no longer care what others think about what I am doing. Art is completely subjective. This includes what I think. I have hated something I made and someone else has loved it. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. 

Breaking through the fear of judgement, failure and inadequacies in this one area of my life has been life changing for sure. Letting go and being okay with change continues to help me press on when things don't go my way. It is okay to fail. It is okay to lose all your work and have to start over. It is okay to have your plans changed. In the letting go we discover that there is more life has to offer. 

Today I encourage you to let go.  My bible reading is from Proverbs 3:13-15  "Blessed is the man (woman) who finds wisdom... who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her".

May you gain wisdom in your life today. Wisdom in understanding that change is good, even when it is painful. Wisdom in rediscovering your purpose. Let go and explore. 

Shaloe